Likes and dislikes...

What makes us like something? I guess if it meets or exceeds our expectations we like it. What influences our expectations?

When you listen to a song, what makes you like it or hate it? I have noticed on many occasions that some people do not like english songs. Some do not like anything other than the ones composed by Ilayaraja. Some just don't like anything too fast. Some don't like anything too slow. Some don't want to listen to anything that does not have lyrics. Some only like songs with good vocals. And there's the kind of people who listen to any kind of music, no matter what language it is in (or even if there are no lyrics).

When you taste something, what makes you detest or love it? Some people hate anything that is not spicy. Some hate everything spicy. Many people I know do not like anything other than Indian cuisine. Some are adaptable to any kind of food because they are willing to experiment.

Why are we biased? What appeals to one does not to another. I think it's the way we grow up that influences what we expect. What we enjoyed right from our childhood stays with us. Do our minds get used to something so much that we are not able to adapt to any kind of change? I think so. But that's what makes people distinct. Their likes and dislikes. People's opinions and perceptions differ. And when they don't, people end up being good friends. We of course enjoy the company of those who like what we like.

But, what if we take a moment to try to adapt our tastes to like what we don't? Why, you may ask. Here's my reasoning: When you have a bigger bandwidth of what you like, you connect with more people. You get to experience what other people have been enjoying, which you actually disliked before.

I remember I used to dislike most of the english songs at one point of time. The only ones I liked were those that were pretty simple and had easy-to-understand tunes. I was watching MTV (I think) and there was this song Smooth by Santana which won the Grammy award that year. Having been used to listening only to Tamil songs (and a little bit of Hindi too), I couldn't see why the award was given to that song. I couldn't even recognize the tune, let alone the awesome guitar in the background. I thought it was a load of crap. But then I thought, millions of people don't like the song for nothing. There should be something that I should be missing. I listened to it carefully the next time. I gave attention to detail, trying to listen to each and every sound in the song. This time, I had no doubt why it was given the award. I could now enjoy what all those people have been enjoying.

It's the same case with food. I've grown up eating only Indian food, and so it was quite natural that I totally hated American cuisine. The meat was not as spicy as we cook in India. It was totally without flavour. Just cooked and served with sides. But, that's how people here like it. And now I am used to it. In fact, I've started liking it more. But, at the same time, my liking for Indian cuisine has not decreased at all. It's just that I now have a variety of cooking styles that I like to eat.

When a considerable number of people like something and you don't, you definitely are missing something. I am not saying you should make an attempt to like it, it's of course your decision. But, if you do, you will realize what you have been missing. You will give yourself a chance to enjoy more things in life.
Free your mind of all the bias. Expect or demand nothing. You will like everything. Well, that's just my view of likes and dislikes and I might be totally wrong too. For the same reason, I would love to know what you think. Please feel free to comment.